The Best and Worst of: Too Human

This was a game I had been very excited about during its announcement. Silicon Knights was a company that already proved they could make great games, and the marriage of deep action-combat and RPG seemed intriguing. However, with its August release date closing in soon, there are still some aspects of the game that seem a little off.

The Good:

1. For a long time, Silicon Knights described Too Human as Devil May Cry meets Diablo, as in a hybrid of fast-paced action and deep RPG customization. It's a good concept and the cross-genre gameplay would be sure to appeal to a variety of gamers.

2. Too Human actually has a pretty cool and unique story; setting the tale in a futuristic retelling of Norse Mythology. The title refers to a struggle between the Norse Gods and machines; where the machines are striving to become more human, and the Gods, who feel they are "too human", strive to incorporate machines into their bodies through cybernetics. It's a cool concept that could easily make for a compelling tale.

3. As it stands right now, those looking for hack-and-slash RPG games on consoles (specifically the 360) have had fairly limited choices, and Too Human will hopefully revitalize the genre to a degree.

The Not-So-Good:

1. Silicon Knights has apted to use a right analog stick based combat system, where moving the stick will result in various slashes, swipes, and combos. Not only does this system take camera control out of the player's hands, but analog stick combat very rarely feels as responsive or precise as a standard button-based combat system.

2. Technical problems had plagued Too Human in the past and at past events, demos of the game were known to run at a not-so-solid 15 fps. Though this problem has obviously been improved on, it still stands that the team had serious problems working with Unreal Engine, and as a result, I'd be very suprised if the final product doesn't have at least some slowdown or other technical issues.

3. The developers of Silicon Knights are for the most part, very much into MMOs and offline RPGs. As a result, the amount of menus and customization looks to be daunting to a player looking for something more on the Devil May Cry side of the spectrum. Hopefully, enough tutorials and auto-customization features will be implemented that the more casual gamer will actually be able to enjoy it, but as things stand, I wouldn't be so sure.

The game does look pretty good, and I'd recommend checking it out if you have interest in either aciton games or RPGs, but it's probably worth checking out some reviews or renting the game before actually making a purchase.

What's Coming Soon

With the start of the new month, I figured I'd give a quick over view of the articles that will likely be coming up on the blog in the near future:

- Mascots: How It's Hurt Sony and Microsoft
- What to look out for at E3
- Some previews/ reviews
- Game Analysis: Too Human, Diablo III
- Various Top 10 lists
- Post-E3 Impressions
- Controversial Games rated E for Everyone

The Top 6 Reasons Why Video Games Suck (Part 1)

So you think video games are all fun and games, huh? You couldn't be more wrong. The world of gaming is sinister and full of deception and lies and for that reason, I have created this guide as a warning, hoping to discourage all from a life that can bring no joy. Anyway, on with the list:

(Pictured above: The average gamer)

6. Brain Clutter/ Useless Knowledge

I could tell you the difference between a Phoenix down and a Phoenix pinion, or name five differences between Claude and Dias' respective "air slash" attacks from Star Ocean 2. I could tell you five different ways to mix a Nectar smoothie in Dead Rising or the evolved forms of all basic Pokemon (from the first 150).

At the same time, I wouldn't be able to name more than 10 words I learned from 4 years of Spanish classes, or tell you anything more about my year and a half of trigonometry besides "it involved triangles". Maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but the point is, after playing so many games, I feel it's begun to replace information that I should be able to recall easily, and even begun to compromise my common sense.

In time, I'll no longer remember how many ways to look before crossing the street, or what series of actions to take in the even of a fire. However, I will be able to tell you what levels you get all the perks in Call of Duty 4 or know the map of Liberty City by heart.

They say the average brain can hold about a million pieces of information, and I'd estimate that the average gamer brain contains about 900,000 pieces of useless garbage.


5. Poor Starting Job Options

(Pictured above: Approximate quality level of an average game-related position)

If you're seriously into video games, it's likely you;d consider a career in the business. The video game market is by no means small, and being relatively recession proof, it still thrives during times of economic stress (like now for example). There are plenty of high paying jobs in the industry, but in order to get to any of them, you're going to have to deal with a whole lot of s**t first. Let's break it down:

Game Critic:

Many kids dream of reviewing games for a living and I can tell you first hand, it's about 100 times less glamorous than it sounds. Say you make about $150 (U.S.) per review. That sounds pretty reasonable, especially if you get the game for free as well. What you have to realize about the gaming market is that a great game comes about once every 3-5 weeks, and considering you're likely to be working with a team of people, you'll likely be paid to play a game you would actually buy maybe 2-3 times a year if you're lucky. For the rest of that time, you're in hell. And, even when you get a game that's actually good, you're getting an "advanced" copy, a.k.a. a glitchy, unfinished, bug-riddled copy. If you actually plan on playing said game as God intended, you're gonna have to take the money out of your own paycheck.

Now, be prepared to spend15 hours of your life slogging through a crappy experience just so you can tell the world it was crap, when everyone likely knew it was crap in the first place. Factoring in time to write up the review and finding any additional information, screenshots, and the like, that $150 is now just about minimum wage for a seriously mind-numbing experience.

Game Tester:

Wow! This sounds even better! It's like being a reviewer but without all the written work. Well let's see...where to start? Let's say your playing the first level of a game for 15 minutes. Hey, this is actually fun! Yeah? Well, are you still going to be thinking that after you've played that same level 86 times, each time making a note of every tiny little glitch and inconsistency? You might not even be able to finish the game, as a company's likely to assign people to specific levels, so enjoy playing those first 25 minutes of the game again...and again...and again...and again, for the next 3 weeks straight.

Imagine watching a movie based around the concept of repetition, like Groundhog Day. Now imagine having to watch Groundhog Day 20 times straight. Now imagine Groundhog Day is a really, really sh**ty game. Okay, that last part doesn't really make sense, but you get the idea.

Also, throw any notion of not having to do any write-ups out the window. A huge part of your job will be compiling a formal assessment of all the bugs and problems you've found to be submitted to the dev. team. Still sounds like fun, right?

Game Journalist:

This one actually isn't so bad. You have to do a ton of research for your articles, but at least it doesn't kill as many brain cells as the previously mentioned jobs. However, where it really starts to suck is when you have to try to work with or get feedback from the online public. The gaming online public are of a different breed than say, that of news or politics. If your working online as a journalist for a world news magazine, for example, you'll be dealing with intelligible people, capable of forming educated and comprehensive opinions.

The gaming world is the world of flame wars, 1337 speak, and excessive fanboyism. If you are so unfortunate as to have to cater to the online community, you'll be handling the exact same people who allowed Icanhascheezburger.com to become the 8th most powerful blog on the internet. I hope you're all proud of yourselves.

4. Disappointment

(He just paid $60 for Alone in the Dark)

There are few things more disappointing than being super hyped about a game, pre-ordering it, counting down the days until its release and finally popping it in, only to find it average at best. It's easy to look at all the media buzz around a game and all of the very positive reviews, and think that it's going to blow you away. Even though I enjoyed GTA IV very much, I couldn't help but be disappointed after it received one of the highest overall average scores on gamerankings.

Well, now you're probably thinking, "Say bro, doesn't that stuff happen with things like TV, movies, music, and whatnot?" Well, inquisitive reader, I have constructed the following chart based solely on mathematically fact that evaluates the suckiness of disappointing games compared to other forms of media:

Bob's Chart of Dissapointment

For the purpose of this data, I have used Bob, an average male gamer who makes $25 dollars an hour, and I take into account that he could be making money while wasting his time.

Money wasted from...

1. Bad TV Show: $0 (cost) + $12.50 (30 mins.) = $12.50 wasted [Bob's slightly annoyed]

2. Bad Song: $1 (cost) + $1.50 (~3.5 mins) = $2.50 wasted [Bob couldn't care less]

3. Bad Movie: $10 (cost) + $50 (2 hours) = $60 wasted [Bob's somewhat angry]

4. Bad Game: $60 (cost) + $250 (10 hours) = $310 wasted [Bob's F**king Pissed!!]

Therefore, buying a disappointing game is over 5 times more sh**ty than the next leading form of disappointing entertainment. That's a lot of suck, especially since that 10 hours is being conservative. Play through a disappointing RPG, and you've just wasted the equivalent of about $1000.

Alright, look for the rest of this list tomorrow if I still have nothing better to do.

The Best and Worst of Prototype

Prototype, the new open-world action game from Radical Entertainment, the developers of Hulk: Ultimate Destruction and Scarface, has been looking pretty good, and will likely only continue to look better as team approaches the 2009 release. However, despite some impressive previews (it's definitely worth checking out Gametrailer's recent exclusive) and taking into account the company's solid track record, I remain hopeful, but somewhat apprehensive.

What's Got Me Hopeful:
As purely an action game, Prototype seems impressive. The anti-hero protagonist, Alex Mercer, is super strong and agile, and as a result, both combat and platforming/exploration elements of the game look promising. The game also allows Alex to "evolve", becoming stronger and gaining new abilities, and some of his powers look devastatingly powerful.

One of prototype's most talked about features is the ability to consume anyone in the city, gaining their body as a disguise, as well as their memories. Being able to shapeshift into anyone in the city could present some interesting ways to approach different missions. The ability also ties in to the game's main plot device called the "web of intrigue", which I'll get back to later.

Also, Radical hasn't disappointed with most of their previous releases. Ultimate Descruction was one of the better superhero games of the last generation, and leaps and bounds better than this year's Hulk game. Also, Scarface was a lot better than I initially expected and though saying the game was "inspired" by GTA would be one hell of an understatement, Radical still implemented a lot of cool and unique ideas here.

What's Keeping Me Apprehensive:
If you're following the game, you'll know by now that it takes place in New York City. At one time, the idea of a sandbox game set in NYC was truly incredible. However, after countless open world games including The Incredible Hulk, Spider-man 2, and of particular note, GTA IV, have used the city as their backdrop, I've really started to grow tired of the idea. Granted, Prototype is different in that the virus actually affects how the city looks, but I'm as of now unconvinced that this will be enough to keep the city form feeling stale.

The web of intrigue, which I mentioned earlier, also has me worried. While it's a genuinely unique way of telling the story, from what I've seen thus far, it consists mostly of a bunch of still images with sound layered on to it. If this isn't the primary way of telling the story, then I won't mind so much. However, telling the majority of a story through slide shows just seems like a cheap cop out that will undoubtedly make the story seem less powerful.

Aside from the story, one of my worries on the gameplay side of the spectrum is that the game is just too ambitious. Shooting, acrobatics, offensive and defensive skills, shapshifting, etc. While it's certainly good to have ambitions, biting off more than you have often lead to a game feeling tragically unrealized. While I'm glad that the team is taking the extra time to polish the game, I can't help but feel that having all these different mechanics is going to drag the overall quality of them down.

The final potential nail in the coffin is the possibility of no online or co-op. Granted, normally I wouldn't get too hung up on this and granted, perfecting the single player should be their primary objective; however, given the open-world environment and the awesome abilities that the main character has, passing up this chance to do at least co-op, if not full online multiplayer would really seem like a serious loss.